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midnight talks

I don’t want a Perfect Fairytale.

 

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Yes, yes, I admit  I enjoy watching/reading those chick flick happy ending, sappy, fairy tale sometimes corny stories and movies. But so many girls get set that’s  how they wan’t a relationship to be like or find a “Perfect guy” that says”You’re so perfect you don’t have a single flaw.” like in the movies. I however am not one of those. At one point early teen years yeah, sure. But now, I don’t want you to put me under a beauty filter and call me perfect because I am no where near perfect. I have so many faults, flaws, scars, problems, etc..  I want someone who knows and will tell me I’m not perfect but they still love or care about me. I don’t want to have promises made that are 100% chance at some point they will broken like for instance “I will never hurt you.” Because yes, you will at some point get hurt  or hurt the other it’s just bound to happen because we are all humans who make mistakes.

I don’t want Perfect I want real, honesty, loyalty, Effort, someone who pushes me to be a better version of myself than I was yesterday. I’d rather have either a dork in tin foil or a guy in blue jeans boots and covered in dirt or grease then a prince.  I know I’m a bit of an odd duck. haha But I’ve also loved the wrong people, people who didn’t deserve it. I’ve been burned more time’s than things went well. And through all those hard, terrible and sometimes okay “relationships” It’s brought me to here. I did at one point settle for I wouldn’t even call some guys more like boys. I settled for so much less than I should have and I did at times pay the price for settling my standards that low. And also after having a glimpse at a entire beautiful universe.. why would I settle for just the small earth? (May not make sense to you but it does in my lil ol brain of mine. haha) So I no longer want to let my standards get that low, I don’t want to settle for boys or being treated a belittling way. Now sometimes do I get kinda small likes for guys? Yeah, but at the end of the day or even then I ask myself would I honestly want to date them or marry them? If the answer is no then I try and just get over it and focus on something else.. Like Fictional Characters such as the Flash or Luke from The longest Ride.  haha!

So these are just some of the late night thoughts that have been going on through my head for a little while now.. But I hope you all have had a wonderful weekend ❤

 

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“Feel the Fear and do it anyways.”

                                      “Feel the fear and do it anyways.” 

While I was watching one of my Absolute favorite Youtubers aka. Kalyn Nicholson she said this quote in one of her videos and it really impacted me.  

I’m someone who is scared. Scared to do things that I want to do, wish to do, etc. Partially from over thinking but just because it’s also hard for me to leave my comfort zone especially if so alone. It’s scary to do something you’ve never done before especially if there’s no one with you to do it with. Something about that just makes things (to me) seem a little more terrifying. However, since last year my goal has been to push myself out there out of my comfort zone. I have succeeded in somethings such as getting my permit and license, getting a job, quitting a job, starting Youtube,  etc. However I want to try and do so even more and to try and conquer my fears and to use the fear towards doing things. Such as trying Yoga classes with a friend, a small road trip by myself maybe, trying a totally new food, who knows. But I’m not only going to love, admire and aspire to this quote I wan’t to apply it. So, this quote is my like, “Life” quote. 🙂

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I’m someone who has a very, very and I mean very... bad memory and train of focus. Shocking, I know especially for being a girl. 😉 haha So, I write things on my arms. (Yes, I know it’s not good for me etc..Still do it though. lol) It helps me with reminders and encouragements especially doing hard times. Sometime’s it’s quotes, phrases, lyrics or symbols and I wrote among some other things this quote. ❤

I hope you all have a wonderful night  and don’t let fear stop you ❤

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