I wasn’t sure if I was wanting to do a video on this or a blog post… Because certain situations from earlier this year have been popping up into my head or in discussions with other people in my life.
Recently this year I decided to cut some people out of my life.. Mind you I didn’t originally intend for it to get to that. And a huge majority of people couldn’t see why. And I’m not gonna lie… It got super messy and a lot of hurt things were said from they’re side and they knew what they said would hurt and have some impact i some way shape or form. See, they were so used to being able to control me that they thought what they had used before would work once again.. They did everything and anything they could say or do to try and get me to come back but I stood my ground this time.
What I wanted to talk to you about is more of.. telling you some things that I learned.
Don’t kill yourself for people. (Yes, I mean this litterally.)
Don’t make yourself sick or work work yourself sick for people who don’t appreciate you or what you do, don’t truly and actually care about you, don’t do anything to help you, etc. Now, I’m not saying don’t help people or go to great lengths to do so. What I’m saying is do not physically, mentally, or emotionally kill yourself and tap yourself out for people who could care less and use you for that reason. I’ve done this.. this happened in the situation I briefly covered a short moment ago and it wasn’t good and I also don’t suggest it.
Don’t become peoples puppet and control you
I didn’t realize how bad this one person was controlling me till they started freaking out when I wouldn’t text them within 5 seconds of getting their message. I mean Legit freaking the pop tarts out. If they wanted me there all they had to say was something depressing enough to sound like suicide notes and I would be there. (I don’t play with that kind of stuff or take it lightly.) They knew how to say things to get me to come back and it wasn’t the “Oh, you’re so amazing I’m so sorry.” type stuff… No it was more along the lines of Trying to guilt trip me, make me feel like it was my fault when it wasn’t so I would then apologies to Them for something I didn’t do or wasn’t my fault. It’s messed up the fact I let them get that control and it’s even more messed up that there’s so many people in the world today who know what cards to play, say etc to get what they want and control people.
please, don’t let them..
You DON’T have to explain yourself
After this huge mess happened they wanted me to come back.. (When they told me to never speak to them again… whaat?) They even went to lengths of getting my friends friends and our mutual friends to try and get me to come and fix things and and for me to tell them why. And people themselves asked me why. I got so used to always giving people explanations because I thought I had to. Here’s some facts for you…
- You don’t.
- People can loose their right to know why depending on the situation (and they did)
- If it’s not the person the problem is with, they don’t “Deserve and explanation” cause it’s not their dang business
Cold hard facts is I had valid reasons to need space and a break which then turned into cutting them out of my life for the exact same valid reasons and then some. If anything they just validated my reasons to do so and other people saw what was going on. This relationship was Toxic, negative, and killing and draining the life out of me quite litterally. But I wasn’t going to go try and “Explain why” because I knew these people better than anyone. I know how they would think, respond, what they would say and do and it would have been pointless. So instead of wasting more time than I already did on trying to explain, trying to fix things etc. I stopped explaining because I didn’t have to and they lost any “Right to know” they may have had.
When you know you’re in the right, stand no matter how hard it is. It can be hard as in things people say are hurtful or they’re actions are, you may loose things etc. But when it comes to cutting out toxic people out don’t feel bad for that. No matter how hard they or others try to make you feel etc. Don’t feel bad. And try to keep in mind that the other people who weren’t involved didn’t know or don’t know how it was exactly or from your side etc and they don’t need to know cause it’s not they’re business.
NOTE:Yes, It’s okay to miss the good in those people and good times etc and not want them back at the same time.
Idk If I got what I was wanting to say out right or worded right cause TBH my brains very tired haha So forgive me if this is a bit scatterd etc… But I felt like I needed to get this off my chest. ❤ Hope you all are safe, well and have a wonderful night ❤