Toxic relationships

adventureis out there (4).pngI wasn’t sure if I was wanting to do a video on this or a blog post… Because certain situations from earlier this year have been popping up into my head or in  discussions with other people in my life.

Recently this year I decided to cut some people out of my life.. Mind you I didn’t originally  intend for it to get to that. And a huge majority of people couldn’t see why.  And I’m not gonna lie… It got super messy and a lot of hurt things were said from they’re side and they knew what they said would hurt and have some impact i some way shape or form. See, they were so used to being able to control me that they thought what they had used before would work once again.. They did everything and anything they could say or do to try and get me to come back but I stood my ground this time.

What I wanted to talk to you about is more of.. telling you some things that I learned.

Don’t kill yourself for people. (Yes, I mean this litterally.)

Don’t make yourself sick or work work yourself sick for people who don’t appreciate you or what you do, don’t truly and actually care about you, don’t do anything to help you, etc. Now, I’m not saying don’t help people or go to great lengths to do so. What I’m saying is do not physically, mentally, or emotionally kill yourself and tap yourself out for people who could care less and use you for that reason. I’ve done this.. this happened in the situation I briefly covered a short moment ago and it wasn’t good and I also don’t suggest it.

Don’t become peoples puppet  and control you

I didn’t realize how bad this one person was controlling me till they started freaking out when I wouldn’t text them within 5 seconds of getting their message. I mean Legit freaking the pop tarts out.   If they wanted me there all they had to say was something depressing enough to sound like suicide notes and I would be there. (I don’t play with that kind of stuff or take it lightly.)  They knew how to say things to get me to come back  and it wasn’t the “Oh, you’re so amazing I’m so sorry.” type stuff… No it was more along the lines of Trying to guilt trip me, make me feel like it was my fault when it wasn’t so I would then apologies to Them for something I didn’t do or wasn’t my fault. It’s messed up the fact I let them get that control and it’s even more messed up that there’s so many people in the world today who know what cards to play, say etc to get what they want and control people.

please, don’t let them..

You DON’T have to explain yourself

After this huge mess happened they wanted me to come back.. (When they told me to never speak to them again… whaat?)  They even went to lengths of getting my friends friends and our mutual friends to try and get me to come and fix things and and for me to tell them why. And people themselves asked me why. I got so used to always giving people explanations because I thought I had to. Here’s some facts for you…

  1. You don’t.
  2.  People can loose their right to know why depending on the situation (and they did)
  3. If it’s not the person the problem is with, they don’t “Deserve and explanation” cause it’s not their dang business

Cold hard facts is I had valid reasons to need space and a break which then turned into cutting them out of my life for the exact same valid reasons and then some. If anything they just validated my reasons to do so and other people saw what was going on. This relationship was Toxic, negative, and killing and draining the life out of me quite litterally.  But I wasn’t going to go try and “Explain why” because I knew these people better than anyone. I know how they would think, respond, what they would say and do and it would have been pointless. So instead of wasting  more time than I already did on trying to explain, trying to fix things etc. I stopped explaining because I didn’t have to and they lost any “Right to know” they may have had.

When you know you’re in the right, stand no matter how hard it is. It can be hard as in things people say are hurtful or they’re actions are, you may loose things etc. But when it comes to cutting out toxic people out don’t feel bad for that. No matter how hard they or others try to make you feel etc. Don’t feel bad. And try to keep in mind that the other people who weren’t involved didn’t know or don’t know how it was exactly or from your side etc and they don’t need to know cause it’s not they’re business.

NOTE:Yes, It’s okay to miss the good in those people and good times etc and not want them back at the same time.

 

Idk If I got what I was wanting to say out right or worded right cause TBH  my brains very tired haha So forgive me if this is a bit scatterd etc… But I felt like I needed to get this off my chest. ❤ Hope you all are safe, well and have a wonderful night ❤

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Peoples Promises

There’s this quote from The Fault In Our Stars that Hazel says. It’s one that I’ve come to really understand and kind of love. The quote is this:

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A lot of people don’t understand the promises they make these day’s or the power they now have after making that promise. This can apply to all sorts of promises that people say such as: “I love you”, “I won’t hurt you”, “I’ll always be here”, “I’m never leaving”, “I won’t ever do that again”, or “Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere”. I mean, we could really go on and on about promises people say that they don’t keep. And we all do it sometimes. Whether it be intentional, or we forgot, or because of other circumstances.

But I don’t think everyone always understands why other people sometimes have a hard time believing the promises made. I’ve had people get upset with me because I wasn’t believing they would keep their promises. It’s not that they themselves didn’t keep promises. It’s the fact that the promises they made (for instance “I’ll always be there” or “I’m not going anywhere” “I’m never leaving”) were always broken. Always. No matter how many times those people tried to reassure me and tell me not to worry that it would never happen. It did, and they left. They were people I never thought would break those promises. So it’s not always they themselves that you don’t believe, it’s the promises they make.  I’ve been on both ends of this. Being the person (and still am) who doesn’t believe someone when they promise things – such as saying that they will stay – as well as the person who isn’t believed when I’ve made a promise because of their past. It hurts on both sides. The fact that they don’t give you a chance or believe you, hurts. But, we put people in those passions because we are, or have been hurt, and are terrified to be hurt again.

It’s sad that people come to a point where they can’t believe those who make promises  because people breaking promises or hurting them in the past. Just because someone in the past, or the majority of people you know, have hurt you and broken their promises, doesn’t mean that everyone is like that. But we sometimes put up walls to see if someone will try to break them down for the right reasons, or we dare someone to prove us wrong because we want to be proven wrong that they will stay, they mean what they say, or that we mean something to them.

❤ #justrandomthoughts

Glass Hearts & Beautifully Broken.

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While I was drinking my cup of breath (aka. coffee) in one of my favorite mugs this morning, I was remembering some thoughts I had been thinking about last night. Like how we use broken or shattered glass to visualize broken trust, or a broken person. I was also thinking about how our hearts are like glass.

In this world there are all sorts of things and ways we can get hurt; they create different cracks in our glass hearts. Some create little nicks or scratches, some small cracks, and some fractures that are quite large create a giant crack or multiple. Sometimes it takes just one small damage to that broken glass to make it spider crack everywhere. Or maybe it’s one giant thing that just completely shatters it. However, a good majority  of the time  it’s tons of little things with different types of cracks and nicks that combine with something small that hits just the right spot, at the right speed, and the glass spider cracks everywhere; sometimes shattering everything, and we ourselves are then broken.

When glass is broken, you can’t put it back exactly how it was before. It takes time to put it back together. You may hurt yourself on the sharp edges, or on the small sharp slivers while picking up the pieces. And when you put it back together, it will have cracks showing where it had been broken. It will no longer be perfect. There may be pieces missing and it won’t be quite as strong as before.  It’s still beautiful even though it’s been broken. Especially when the sun shines through it’s cracks. ❤

You’re still valuable and beautiful (or handsome) even though you’ve been broken. Especially to those who love you. You are just as beautfiul, if not more beautiful than you were before. Because when the sun shines through your cracks, you sparkle and glisten. ❤