Recently we were on Vacation in Cali at a camp called Iron Wood but also along the way there and back we also did some stops and had some fun exploring etc. When people ask me what my favorite part of the trip was I have two answers.. 1. Camp Iron Wood and 2. The beach/ Sea. Both were *so*  beautiful and stole my heart and breath away. I never thought I could love a place as much or as close as I do Wyoming but they do. ❤

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Now, you’re probably like “Okay nice Erin but what does that have to do with the title?”  Camp Iron wood Especially grabbed a hold of a place in my heart. It’s breath taking, beautiful, peaceful, in the middle of nowhere, has like No mosquitoes (BOOYAH!) and the atmosphere is so positive, happy, Godly, up lifting, in such a way I haven’t experienced before and don’t know how to put into words. I learned and grew a lot up there as we stayed there. The one sermon that Sunday was really good  and I got to start reading Living Original again by Sadie Robertson and both had a huge impact on me.  WE weren’t up there for a “Camp” it was more of we were staying in a guest place and could do whatever we wanted whether it be explore, watch movies, relax, etc. And the Freedom to just sit and read the book and think was amazing!

Now, Camp Iron Wood is a place where you can work at the camp while doing some “Classes” such on the bible, how to study it, apply it, ministry, and others like that while they try to help you learn your gifts God’s given you and what your convictions are and help you keep to them once you discover them for a year up to 3. I had talked to Mr. Scott (He invited us and he also works there) about the Camp and program the day we were leaving. I really wish we had gotten to really talk more about it before the day we were leaving but that isn’t what God had happen  but I’m thankful for the time we did that day, about my considering of coming up there for a One year of the program..

This is where the title comes in…

Part of me really want’s to go. I know, as well as Mr. Scott does and mentioned to me that I would learn a lot even in that one year and grow etc. Camp Iron wood feels right in a sense that I can’t explain… I believe and know it would really help me spiritually and as a person in general. It’s also an  positive, amazing, safe, encouraging, Christian atmosphere which I haven’t really had really. Another plus is I’d be around some people semi around my age that are Christians which tbh… Never ever really had that. (when I am around them I feel really weird.. I’m used to either way older than me Christians or way shorter and tend to still be learning to talk.. lol)

But part of me find’s it terrifying If I’m being honest…. Cali is pretty far away from Wyoming and I can’t *see* my parents and siblings whenever I’d get homesick or whatever. I’ve NEVER been that far away from my family for that long either… And I’m super shy when I don’t know people. Hard to believe right? haha But seriously… I only would really know like 3 ish people there.. 150% all new.  I’m not sure how I’d come home for thanksgiving, Christmas or summer cause I wouldn’t have a paying job..  I’d have to change my phone service which takes money also because I didn’t have any service from straight talk/verizon up there so in order to talk to my parents etc I would need to.  Not sure how I’d do that either. Health struggles are another.. I’ve had some more… health problems popped up recently where I wen’t to the ER and they didn’t help much but we’re trying to work on that rn. But I can’t do a lot of things and sometimes I can’t do the some things I can at all..     There’s a lot on my mind.. What if something happened to my sister? (Who was diagnosed with type 1 Diabetes last year for those who don’t know.)

I’m scared and I’m not sure what to do, what’s going to happen and etc… But I’m praying about it to see what happens etc. If that is what God want’s for me than he will make it possible etc..

Should I stay?? Or should I go??