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Adventure Is Out There!

Long time no post..

 

Hey guys, long time no chat.

I’ve gotta say, this feels pretty weird sitting here writing a blog post after being MIA for a while.  I won’t lie, a lot has happened. What was even weirder was I didn’t feel like writing even in the darkest of what’s happened and those of you who saw some of  my past posts may know that’s typically when I do write the best or would want to is when things go wrong, or I’m hurt or whatever reason. But I decided now to get back to it but like I said I won’t lie… I don’t have full motivation back for blogging or doing videos. But I think it would be good for me to have a outlet to let things out and talk as well as it may help others not just myself. lol So here we are! Hope things with everyone have been good and if they haven’t it’s okay, your not alone and we will get through the bad days. 🙂

On good news I decided to do some tags and challenges. So stay tuned for those!

Hope you all have a fantastic morning and I’ll talk to you in the next post! ❤

Explore & Live

I’m someone who hated traveling. Lol I did I hated leaving my comfort zone of home. It amazes me to look back and see this girl who was never wanting to leave her home or adventure to new places voluntarily and now I’ve got this travel bug where I want to push myself out of the comfort zone try new things and see new Places. I mean I’m still terrified and trying to conquer fears but I want to. 🙂 Right now were on our way to camp iron wood for a vacation for the family and my friend and I are planning on going on a trip this summer for a weekish also. And I’m so excited! I want to not just survive life I want to live it and explore. 🙂 

Someone who’s encouraged Mr even when I was the terrified girl was my babysitting boss Morgan. She’s always encouraging to travel, try new things, do new things and explore while I have the freedom of not really being tied down to a job etc. And I’m so thankful for that and her ❤

Where’s places you want to go? Have you been to places on your bucket list?? 🙂 

Peoples Promises

There’s this quote.. from The Fault In Our Stars that Hazel says and it’s one that I’ve come to really understand and kind of love… The quote is this…

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A lot of people don’t understand the promises they make these day’s or the power they now have after making that promise. This can apply to all sorts of promises that people say such as: “I love you”, “I won’t hurt you”, “I’ll always be here”, “I’m never leaving”, “I won’t ever do that again”, “Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere”. I mean we could really go on and on about promises people say that they don’t keep. And we all do it sometimes whether it be intentional, or we forgot or  because of circumstances…

But I don’t think everyone always understands either why people sometimes have a hard time believing their promises they make. I’ve had people get upset with me because I wasn’t believing they would keep their promise. It’s not that they themselves didn’t keep promises. It’s the fact that the promises they made such as for instance “I’ll always be there” or “I’m not going anywhere” “I’m never leaving” were always broken. Always. No matter how many times those people tried to reassure me and tell me not to worry that it would never happen. It did and they left and they were people I never thought would break those promises. So it’s not always them themselves that you don’t believe it’s the promises they make.  I’ve been on both ends of this. Being the person (still am) who doesn’t believe someone when they promise such as they will stay as well as the person who isn’t believed when I’ve made a promise because of their past. It hurts on both sides the fact that they don’t give you a chance to believe you and it hurts that we put people in those passions because we are and have been hurt and are terrified to be hurt again.

It’s sad that people come to a point where they can’t believe those who make promises that would keep them because of past people breaking promises or hurting them. Just because someone in the past or the majority of people have hurt you and broken promises etc it doesn’t mean that everyone is like that. But we sometimes will put up walls to see if someone will try to break them down for the right reasons, or we dare someone to prove us wrong because we want to be proven wrong that they will stay, they mean what they say or we mean something to them.

❤ #justrandomthoughts

Why I love Makeup.

Half makeup & half bare skin and beautiful both ways.

I’ve had some comments saying I wear makeup because I’m trying to cover up who I am. But in reality makeup is part of who I am.  I don’t just love it for the colors , looks and to hide imperfections. I love how it can be such an amazing tool in peoples lives and have such impact!  I’ve seen so many stories how makeup has helped people. Stories from girls who have severe acne/ acne scaring or other marks that make them feel insecure about themselves and how makeup helped boost their confidence. No, I am NOT saying that they weren’t or are not beautiful with out makeup. But acne, beauty marks , and etc can have an affect on how you feel about yourself. Especially in this world where perfection is such a pressured look and expectation. Have you ever looked at the youtube comments of beauty videos? If you haven’t there is Hundreds upon Hundreds of comments within the kind and sweet words of fans and subscribers that are horrible, hurtful and bullying comments about how they look.  A good majority of the time now youtubers will end up disabling the comments on videos to avoid the bullying. And going off of bullying, some girls find makeup as a way to deal with bullying both to fight against it by making themselves feel better but also to help be a stress reliever. (Makeup can be quite therapeutic tbh.)  I’ve seen several girls youtube videos on their stories and how makeup helped them through bullying or other things even through life and how it helped them gain a confidence about themselves.

Another way that makeup can be a huge impact in peoples lives is Cancer survivors or people who are struggling with it who have lost all their hair. Yes, they’re still beautiful and you see it and so do I but they don’t always see it let alone feel it. I discussed this with a dear friend of mine and she said how some women or girls would look in the mirror and they will not recognize that person in the mirror. That isn’t “Them” or the person they know.  I’ve seen several videos where a daughter or friend did a makeover on someone who had or was struggling with cancer and they had lost all their hair. Yes, that means eyelashes and eyebrows to keep in mind… And the womens faces after the makeup, false lashes, eyebrows created etc… They we’re GLOWING and their smile was different then the one before because you could tell she felt beautiful or even more beautiful.

For myself personally I used to hate my face. So much acne scaring and acne etc… I loved covering it up and evening out the coloring etc.. But eventually it and learning how taking care of your skin can help you love your skin how it is and so you can be confident with and without makeup.

Those are some of the ways makeup impacts peoples lives.  I love makeup because it can change lives in a sense. That is why I love makeup. Not just for the transforming into other characters and people, the colors, techniques,  covering things up etc… But what it can do and how it can help and make others feel.

Every women is beautiful with and without makeup. And I just wanted to share this. ❤

Pills, pains, and closet’s.

                 **** DISCLAIMER****

I am NOT encouraging drug use or alcohol to try and fix problems, or to try and stop pains etc. Don’t do drugs, don’t take pills unless needed and be wise!

We all take pain meds for when our body’s are Hurting whether it be from broken bones, torn muscles, cramps, soreness, ect. And after taking them they give some relief from the pain. 

I sometimes wish there was a magic pill that could just take the pains from inside away. But we can’t really numb the pains that are inside like a broken heart, broken trust, being left, betrayed, depressed, etc. I mean some people try with drinking  or drug usage but after the drunkenness and the high wear off the pains are still there and they live in this cycle of trying to forget or numb the pain but when they Wake up its there and they try it again. It doesn’t fix things in a way it just kind of makes it worse in a way. Because your not fixing the problem your just prolonging it in a sense. Some people tell me I don’t get it why they do it and I say that isn’t correct. I have some things to I’d give anything to forget or numb the pain But I know that drugs and alcohol won’t fix them and if they do  it’s for the short term and the drugs especially can come with a huge list of horrible side affects or payments for such short term of temporary fixes. 

You cant just forget about the pain or pretend it isnt there that doesnt work because as in the FIOS movie line says 

 “Pain demands to be felt.”

 You can’t keep trying to push it into a closet and forget about it. Like the  “I can’t see you so you cant see me” thing that doesnt work with this. Lol The more you try to shove bad things in your minds closet and use that rule It’s just like the outcome of when my closet had doors and I’d stuff stuff in there and quickly close the door. When you try to  shove the bad stuff  in and quickly close the door it may bust open and everything comes out on top of you at once and that’s just one giant mess. (Aka. So much overload of crap normally leads to meltdowns. Well with me anyways.) So ignoring pain just comes back to get you. I really recommend finding better ways to deal with things. You will heal sometimes it takes longer then others but eventually you will. The atruggles just not to become bitter or hard after being hurt and healed. 

I personally prefer to try and watch Disney happy movies, listen to music partially stuff I can relate to right there and then and some to per me up a bit, read, write and eat some French fries or play with makeup. Do something you enjoy because you need to enjoy and make something good to help you when you feel like crap. 

And also  remember if you have true friends they’re there for you and will help however they can. 

Life’s Roads.

1476411943652.jpgLife’s adventure can sometimes be a smooth highway road with just a few bumps on a beautiful sunny day where you can have the windows down and happy tunes playing and sometimes it’s a highway with potholes that rattle you’re vehicle and make things sound like they’re breaking, in a blizzard where you can hardly see a foot in front of you and your vehicle is wanting to slide off the road and your feeling like you are or might lose control.

Life’s roads are so unpredictable. You could be one of the best drivers and always prepared but an animal pops out or another driver hit’s you and you lose control  and crash.

Sometimes you don’t know which road’s to take. To keep going straight, turn right, or turn left. Sometimes passengers on your trip get off and sometimes you get new ones or you go solo.  However It always sucks when you lose people you care about whether it’s they got off, left, got lost, or are gone. It always hurts especially when those who you thought would always be there with you, leave. Sometimes though, you may have started out both going to the same destination but in time it changes and you both need to take different roads.  And that’s okay. It’s also Okay that it sucks cause that’s life. But instead of trying to forget the memories of the trip try and remember them and keep them they don’t have to be something bad. And sometimes you will both meet up again later on. You can’t know life’s road it doesn’t come with instructions or a map on what’s going to happen. You just have to go with what happens and make the most of it and keep going even if it sucks or you need to take a small pit stop break to re gather yourself or rest. It’s Okay.

 

Glass Hearts & Beautifully Broken.

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While I was drinking my cup of breath of like aka. coffee in one of my favorite mugs this morning I was remembering some thought’s I had been thinking about last night. Like how we use Broken or shattered glass  to visualize broken trust or a broken person. I was also thinking how our hearts and ourselves are kind of like glass.

In this world where there’s all sorts of things and ways we can get hurt  they  all create different cracks in the glass hearts. Some create little nicks or scratches, some  small cracks, and some things that are quite large create a giant crack or multiple. And Sometimes it takes just one small thing on that broken glass to make it spider crack everywhere or it’s one giant thing that just completely shatters. However a good majority  of the time in our lives it’s tons of little things with different types of cracks and nicks and then something small hits just the right spot at the right speed and  it spiders cracks everywhere and sometimes shatters everything and the heart or we ourselves are broken.

When glass is broken  you can’t put it back exactly how it was before. It takes time to put it back together, you may hurt yourself on the sharp edges or on the small sharp slivers  picking up the pieces and when putting it back together  It will have cracks showing where it had been hit. It will no longer be perfect and there may be pieces missing and it won’t be quite as strong as before.  It’s still beautiful even though it’s been broken  especially when the sun shines through it’s cracks. ❤

You’re still valuable and beautiful (or handsome) even though you’ve been broken especially to those who love you and are just as if not more so more beautiful than you were before especially when the sun shines through your cracks you sparkle and glisten. ❤

Power of Music.

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If you want to know someone you should ask them what their favorite song is, what song means the most to them and which song they relate to the most. People who love music don’t just love it for the sounds but for the power of the words. Same reason some people may love poetry and beautiful words because the lyrics, and words could put it better then ourselves. We sometimes find bits and pieces of ourselves in songs and quote  or even something that memories are linked to and can come flooding back from hearing one song. You can remember how you felt, where you were, what was going on, who you were with etc not as powerful as smell but it can be pretty powerful still.

A song that does that to me is one a friend told me to listen to when I was the lowest I had ever been and I couldn’t explain how I was feeling or thinking  to people but when I tried with them they got it and understood. The songs called Paralyzed by NF. (If your not into a little rap or darker songs you will not like it.) It explained exactly how I felt and I fell in love with it. So now when I think of that time around August/ October and the lowest points of the lowest, where I was so unhappy, so broken spirited, loss of hope and did good if I only cried 2-3 times a day, to the one night late after work sitting in my Jeep after balling for 3-4 hours debating whether it was worth it to keep trying or to just end it. This song takes me back to then especially that night.  In it’s own way it helped me through that time as well as some other songs. “When your happy you listen to the music when your sad you listen to the lyrics. ”

Songs can make your feel even worse and more depressed, Sometimes they destroy your motivation , sometimes they build it, sometimes they boost your mood, sometimes they put you in the pits of despair and sometimes they can help you out of the pit. Songs aren’t always “Just songs” sometimes they’re someones friend, or voice they can’t bring themselves to use themselves.

Musics a powerful thing and you can tell a lot about someone by what they’re listening to, and song’s they love the most. If you choose to ask someone what they’re songs are.. I highly suggest you really take the time to really think about the words either look up the lyric video for the songs or the lyrics themselves.  🙂

What’s your favorite song? Leave it in the comments below and I will listen to it ❤

 

I don’t want a Perfect Fairytale.

 

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Yes, yes, I admit  I enjoy watching/reading those chick flick happy ending, sappy, fairy tale sometimes corny stories and movies. But so many girls get set that’s  how they wan’t a relationship to be like or find a “Perfect guy” that says”You’re so perfect you don’t have a single flaw.” like in the movies. I however am not one of those. At one point early teen years yeah, sure. But now, I don’t want you to put me under a beauty filter and call me perfect because I am no where near perfect. I have so many faults, flaws, scars, problems, etc..  I want someone who knows and will tell me I’m not perfect but they still love or care about me. I don’t want to have promises made that are 100% chance at some point they will broken like for instance “I will never hurt you.” Because yes, you will at some point get hurt  or hurt the other it’s just bound to happen because we are all humans who make mistakes.

I don’t want Perfect I want real, honesty, loyalty, Effort, someone who pushes me to be a better version of myself than I was yesterday. I’d rather have either a dork in tin foil or a guy in blue jeans boots and covered in dirt or grease then a prince.  I know I’m a bit of an odd duck. haha But I’ve also loved the wrong people, people who didn’t deserve it. I’ve been burned more time’s than things went well. And through all those hard, terrible and sometimes okay “relationships” It’s brought me to here. I did at one point settle for I wouldn’t even call some guys more like boys. I settled for so much less than I should have and I did at times pay the price for settling my standards that low. And also after having a glimpse at a entire beautiful universe.. why would I settle for just the small earth? (May not make sense to you but it does in my lil ol brain of mine. haha) So I no longer want to let my standards get that low, I don’t want to settle for boys or being treated a belittling way. Now sometimes do I get kinda small likes for guys? Yeah, but at the end of the day or even then I ask myself would I honestly want to date them or marry them? If the answer is no then I try and just get over it and focus on something else.. Like Fictional Characters such as the Flash or Luke from The longest Ride.  haha!

So these are just some of the late night thoughts that have been going on through my head for a little while now.. But I hope you all have had a wonderful weekend ❤

 

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